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멜 ♪♪♪
16 October 2020 @ 12:00 am
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kinda locked
멜 ♪♪♪
30 July 2011 @ 01:47 pm
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this sorta shit spreads around tumblr and these impressionable minds start feeling 'disillusioned' and 'numbed' (with all that 'faking a smile' stuff).

i have been like this before...pretty sure i have.

but now that i am slightly older, i realise that it is something called being human.

there is nothing depressing about it because we are innately flawed and not as selfless as we think we are. it is how we act on it and if we do these things with the intention to harm and hurt that makes the difference.

and i'm starting to think that's all it takes to be a 'good person'.
멜 ♪♪♪
i have decided- i miss writing too much, so i am going to start once again.

writing used to be my only way of expression. i have went from one blog address to another, varying from one writing style to another, one source of angst to another...sometimes i have the urge to go back and read all my old posts, but i'm not sure if it's laziness or the sheer embarrassment of reading what i now consider to be 'immature' that prevents me from doing so.

strange how sometimes the greatest stranger is your own self.

anyway, it's a brand new beginning i suppose.

i have been getting so many ideas for short stories recently...one thing i really miss about ~proper~ school is writing compositions. they never were assignments to me. i guess it helped my personal ego that i was recognized for them by my peers and teachers as well.

hey, i'm human and need reassurance in spite of how independent i seem (actually more like wish) to be.

it's pretty exciting, the prospect of putting all the ideas down into something i hope others can enjoy (i would want to do the same if i were musically talented).

i don't want to stress myself too much into producing one a week or something (you really lose the spark when it's discipline > inspiration), but i need to find that inner perseverance to also push my creative juices to create something substantial, at least.

that is one of the trickiest part of life- not only finding the elusive 'balance', but also making peace with it.

entries would be of varying privacy. if you're starting to get annoyed by inane posts...then most likely you're one of those in my ~super exclusive~ groups. hurhurhur.

first thing i need to do is to decide on whether i am keeping this username or changing it. then i'll need to perhaps hunt for a new layout and more icons...pretty superficial, all these changes, but i'm the sort that likes to 'beautify' things when i start or restart on them ㅋㅋㅋ

but for now...gotta play my guitar :)

♥ to you all